Lately, I’ve been so swamped with work that I barely paid attention to anything else. It’s like working on the inside of a moving train. Just when I catch a breath and glance out the window, it’s raining, and the next moment, the sun is blazing, heating everything around. It’s like looking at a painting on the wall, thinking, ‘Oh, it’s raining,’ ‘Ah, it’s midsummer,’ and then back to the desk. Months have just zipped by like that.
‘They say the rainy season’s over.’
A friend at work mentioned that.
‘And, next week, it’s supposed to be monsoon season.’
He heard it on the weather forecast yesterday. After that, a typhoon might roll in. What’s even happening? It’s not even July yet and we’re already thinking about fall with all this rain. Just the thought of it makes me shudder. It’s not that I dislike rain, but even with a close friend, spending three months together might make me want to run away. Besides, rain isn’t exactly a close friend.
For ages now, I’ve had this habit of staying up late, tinkering with various things till early morning. I’d write, read, gather info online, doodle to music, or reorganize my drawers. Even when I’m sleepy, I push myself to keep doing something. Even lying in bed, I’d be typing search terms till the moment I doze off. I’ve dropped my iPad on my face quite a few times—ouch, that really hurts.
But about two weeks ago, I started just slipping into bed right after showering. After pouring all my energy into projects all day, I didn’t feel like talking or doing anything in the evening. Whether it was 11 PM, 10 PM, or even 8 PM, once I washed up, I headed straight to bed. Sleepy or not, I’d just lie there doing nothing. Initially, I’d wake up around 1 or 2 AM, but still, I did nothing. Sometimes I’d stay awake for a couple of hours, but I’d just stay lying there. This routine became familiar. Just lying down felt blissful.
I’m done chasing more knowledge. Instead, I’ll just make the best use of what I have. Do I need to keep writing things only I read? Being a little happier lying down sounds much better.
Logical analysis, rational conclusions. But feeling like I’m wasting my nights unproductively, I stumbled upon a doctor’s YouTube clip.
‘Getting enough sleep helps balance your body. One of the best ways to reduce body fat is by sleeping well.’
I had no idea.
‘Plus, lack of sleep can be a cause of dementia.’
Getting used to sleeping early, I’ve decided to keep this rhythm going.
Met up with some high school buddies after a long time. As always, we spent hours talking about nothing important. We never discuss anything constructive or helpful to each other. Those topics just aren’t fun. This kind of pointless yet endlessly new banter is what our gatherings are about… trivial yet precious.
In the middle of our chatter, one friend asked another who works as a quant at a bank,
‘What stocks should I buy?’
I was curious too. About a year ago, a coworker from the finance sector teased me for not having a stock account and helped me install a stock app. That day, I bought stocks for the first time in my life. And the very next day, that stock plummeted, now boasting a -60% return. A friend who’s been into stocks for a while said such a drop is rare, even in a bad market. When I joked about buying a put option, they said I shouldn’t blurt out half-baked things.
‘I want to know too!’
…
.
Turns out, that friend had suffered quite a bit like me. He insisted that creating derivatives had nothing to do with stocks, but we dismissed him, concluding he wasn’t competent. Why drag out such a boring topic…
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