Crafting Cool Sentences for You

‘Welcome aboard!’

‘Hi there. So, I had a major fallout with a friend yesterday, and I’m just not great with words, you know? It’s been bothering me, and I’d love to get two killer lines to send back. Can I buy something like that?’

‘Absolutely, we’ve got you covered.’

‘How much would that set me back?’

‘To give you a price, I’ll need a bit more info. How intense do you want the impact to be?’

‘Impact, you say?’

‘Yeah, like, do you want them to be so mad they call you up immediately, or for them to realize their mistake and feel guilty, or is just a simple “ugh, annoying” reaction enough?’

‘Oh, does the content change the price?’

‘For sure. Making them feel guilty is the priciest because it takes some serious brainpower…’

‘Got it. Then, let’s go with something that’ll make them call me up in a rage.’

‘Alright, got it. Can we use any spicy language in there?’

‘Does that really make a difference?’

‘Yep, if we can use some colorful words, it’s easier to craft an angry message, so it’s cheaper.’

‘Hmm. Let’s keep it clean, though.’

‘Got it. Lastly, do you want the message sent to you, or will you jot it down yourself?’

‘What’s that about?’

‘Writing it down yourself is a tad cheaper.’

‘Alright, let’s do that. I was pretty good at dictation back in the day.’

‘Alright, please hang tight for a moment.’

‘Sure thing.’

…

‘Sorry for the wait. You can use the pen and sticky notes by the table to write it down.’

‘Alright, got it.’

‘Okay, I’ll say it once, so make sure you catch it all.’

‘Wait, just once?’

‘Yes, repeating it costs extra.’

‘Seriously? Isn’t that kind of harsh?’

‘That’s why most folks prefer getting it via message.’

‘If I’d known about the extra charge for not getting it right the first time, I’d have chosen the message!’

‘You can still switch to a message now, though there’s a fee.’

‘What’s the fee for?’

‘I’ve already prepped to deliver it verbally.’

‘What kind of prep costs money?’

‘I’ve rehearsed it in the prep room a few times and got into the right emotional state to deliver it with feeling.’

‘Wow, unbelievable. Maybe I should use that sentence on you!’

…

‘Hey, you can still take the written sentence with you and use it later.’

‘Yeah….’