‘It’s really gone now.’
I’ve been in the spy game for 23 years, smuggling microfilm across borders more than 32 times. It wasn’t hard at first. Microfilm, true to its name, was tiny, and my body had plenty of places to hide something so small. Probably all spies did their work without much worry back then. But once a spot was compromised by some careless fool, it was off-limits forever. Those who had much to lose were sensitive to such info, making it nearly impossible to reuse a spot. The job’s difficulty rose thanks to those lacking skill. Over time, places to hide—nose, between toes, armpits, under the tongue—dwindled, and we had to find new hiding spots every time. 😅
‘This job pays five times the usual. It’s huge!’
‘That’s great, but there’s nowhere left to hide!’
No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn’t think of anything. This job was no joke stress-wise. I thought once this job was over, I’d move to the countryside, tend a small garden, and live quietly. 🌱
‘How about hiding it behind the eyelid? No one’s been caught there yet.’
‘Just because it’s not your job, don’t say such things. Stick a sharp microfilm behind the eyelid, and you’ll tear your cornea with every blink!’
‘Oh! I’ve got a brilliant idea!’
He wasn’t known for his brilliance, so I didn’t expect much. But it never hurts to listen. 🤔
‘I was eating dried pollack skin chips the other day and choked. They’re fried, so they break into tiny pieces when you chew. But in the mouth’s moisture, they swell up. Maybe it’s because they were dried? Anyway, I tried swallowing more while chewing, and something felt stuck in my throat. I thought, “This isn’t right,” but forced it down. The lump went into my airway, and I coughed a lot, but it wouldn’t clear. The lump was caught in the airway, not going in or out.’
What on earth was he talking about? I couldn’t grasp it then.
‘I spent days feeling stuffy. Then I thought I should get out of that situation.’
I wanted to escape his nonsensical explanation.
‘So, I started coughing again. After hundreds of coughs, the resonance and echo started making sense. Do you get it?’
Of course not.
‘I figured out how to cough to dislodge the lump. To bring the object from the airway back into the throat, tilt your head left about 15 degrees, breathe in quietly, then release air from your lungs while giving your chest a sharp tap. How I figured it out, I can’t say, but I felt it. Like when you sprinkle salt on a fried egg, you eventually find the perfect balance for taste.’
I use soy sauce on fried eggs. Anyway, I understood what he was suggesting: smuggle the microfilm in a possibly non-existent space in the airway. But is that even possible?
‘First, chew on five dried pollack skin chips. When your mouth feels full, hide the microfilm in a small capsule among the pieces, then swallow. You can’t fail, and then cross the border. It’ll be a bit uncomfortable, but you’ll manage. You have more patience than I do.’
Listening to this crazy idea, maybe I do have that patience.
‘Once you cross the border, find a secluded spot and cough. After hundreds of coughs, you’ll know how to send the chips and microfilm back to your throat.’
It seemed insane, yet plausible. If it worked, it would be foolproof, as inspecting the airway isn’t easy. The airway might even be impossible to open artificially. Honestly, I don’t even know where it is located. 🤷♂️
‘Do you have any dried pollack skin chips?’
‘Yeah, I have some in my bag. Here you go.’
I hadn’t expected him to have them, so I was momentarily taken aback. But having someone experienced guiding me might be more reassuring. I put the microfilm in a small capsule, took five or six pieces of dried pollack skin, and started chewing. I could feel them swelling in my mouth. My friend took the capsule from my hand and nestled it among the chips.
‘There, it’s perfectly in. Now swallow.’
As I tried to swallow, I thought, “This can’t be right.” The mass felt too big to swallow.
‘Swallow!’
(Gulp)
‘How is it?’
‘….’
‘Huh?’
Without any choking, the lump just slid smoothly down my throat.
‘….’
‘Hey… don’t worry! Microfilm can’t be digested, right?’
‘….’
Really wanted to kill him.
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