‘Living Solo’ isn’t a show I actively seek out, but when I randomly stumble upon it while channel surfing, I end up watching it all the way through. Today, while lounging around at home, I happened to catch an episode featuring Han Hye-jin exploring a vintage flea market in New York.
They say she came to New York alone years ago, faced numerous challenges, and established herself as a model there. Now, she’s revisiting the city for Fashion Week. A place once full of battles and memories for her, it was impossible to take a ‘light-hearted stroll’ through it. Watching herself on the screen, her expression was complex, and the other panelists seemed hesitant to make light-hearted comments under the weight of the mood. 🤔
Onscreen, she was seen buying a few items at the flea market and struggling a bit as she headed to a studio she used to share with a few colleagues. The neighborhood had changed a lot, but the place greeted her just as she had left it. As she entered the studio, a video from eight years ago with her colleagues played over the scene. It showed her younger, a bit poorer, more passionate, and more filled with worries. 📽️
People often say they’d love to return to their childhood, but if given the chance, they’d probably weigh a lot of things on the scale and take a moment to decide. There was a movie, ‘Big,’ starring Tom Hanks. A kid becomes an adult and then returns to being a kid. In the final scene, the protagonist asks his adult girlfriend to return to childhood with him. She hesitates and then declines, saying when asked why,
I had my time. Once was enough. You know what I mean? Of course, you don’t!
Perhaps Han Hye-jin felt the same. Looking at the studio, frozen in time, she probably recalled her happiest yet most challenging times, when she was raw and real. If asked if she’d go back, she’d surely hesitate, but wouldn’t it warm her heart to revisit those moments and memories? 💭
Watching the show reminded me of the time I spent alone in San Francisco about a year ago. Different race, language, and culture, I struggled there too, only crossing the Golden Gate Bridge three times during my stay. The old studio had a chilly breeze even with the windows shut, and deliveries were often left behind the pots outside, causing constant worry. The bus, Muni, always kept me waiting, and customer service lines were impossible to reach, eating away at my chaotic days. Yet, walking to the Presidio on weekends, sitting at an outdoor Starbucks table with the Pacific as the backdrop and overlooking the Palace of Fine Arts, I thought,
‘Well, this isn’t so bad…’
There were moments like that. I bet Han Hye-jin, sitting on the steps in front of her old place, soaking in the sunshine, had similar thoughts. Watching the show, I realized, ‘Han Hye-jin really lived her life to the fullest.’ Not just because she once lived in the same studio as Erin Heatherton, Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriend… I mean, I lived in the same building as someone who dated Ian Somerhalder too! 😉
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