It’s so empty…
The first studio I ever signed a lease on alone (a one-room with a kitchen) had just a spacious area by the window, a bathroom, and a tiny kitchen. Although San Francisco is known for its openness to new things, the homes were anything but new. The Victorian buildings, seemingly over a century old, were charming from the outside but felt like countryside homes inside. It made me wonder whether it wasn’t about being open to change, but rather about having no change at all. Sure, there were fancy homes in Pacific Heights and new apartments near Market Street, but any place I could afford to rent was undeniably old-school. 🏡
It was odd not finding many homes with air conditioning while house-hunting in San Francisco. I thought, ‘Isn’t it unbearable without AC in a warm place?’ But excluding homes without AC left me with nothing to see. Living there, I realized why—being indoors was enough to escape the heat. Even in midsummer, the temperatures weren’t high nor the air humid like back home.🌞
But don’t get me wrong, it’s not so warm that you could live without a home. San Francisco, hugging the Pacific, is inseparable from its fog when discussing the weather. This fog is the culprit behind the city’s chill. It acts as a barrier over the nearby sea and rolls inland by night, turning the city into something out of Jekyll and Hyde’s Edinburgh Old Town. When the cold winds slip through the poorly assembled wooden window frames, even in midsummer, it feels like winter for the unprepared. Most heaters are inefficient and old, and the cold air keeps sneaking in, so rooms hardly warm up. So I, too, shivered by the heater, waiting for morning to come. 🌬️
Why were houses built like this? San Francisco’s in California, where winter temperatures rarely drop below 10°C, so maybe they just forgot about cold-proofing when building homes. After all, construction likely happens during the warm day. Or perhaps they did consider it, given the heaters… but they’re just not effective enough. 🌡️
At first, I couldn’t understand why people said this place was great to live in. Market Street, Union Square, and Pier were chaotic with tourists and homeless folks, the streets were messy, and walking near Tenderloin felt unsafe alone. But as I got used to life here, my thoughts changed.
Like Sacramento Street at dusk when it empties out, and the favorite restaurant at its end that always had a table waiting. Or the Starbucks in Presidio, where I’d grab my laptop at dawn on weekends and just people-watch from the outdoor tables. Sometimes, with nothing better to do, I’d spend two hours walking to Haight Street’s secondhand record store, browsing all day. Whenever I craved meat, I’d catch a bus to the unfriendly Ted’s Steakhouse downtown. And somehow, I found my way to the tiled steps of 16th Avenue, gazing over the San Francisco skyline, not to mention the fresh air that always welcomed me with open arms. These moments made the stench of Market Street bearable. 🌁
The day I left my San Francisco studio, which I lived in with barely any furniture, was no different. Though it was always cold, gloomy, and lonely inside, making me think I wouldn’t miss it, standing in the empty room that mirrored the day I moved in, I couldn’t easily close the door. I’d cooked clumsily, slept on laundry still warm from the dryer, and watched more Korean dramas here than I ever had back in Korea. I kept looking back, wondering if I’d soon forget all this. 🍃
If you ask me now if it was better than Seoul, I really can’t say. Living somewhere isn’t something you classify as good or bad. Wherever it is, however long you stay, the experiences and fragments of memories linger somewhere in your body, unexpectedly replaying vividly. Travel is the same; only the length of stay differs, but living’s essence remains unchanged. 🌎 Animals are said to be shaped by their environment, yet we live on, unaware of its meaning. Similarly, travel or moving is an extension of living, but we don’t dwell on its significance. 🌱
Even when busy, I remind myself not to neglect the simple act of living and observing the world around me. 🧘♂️
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